Remember when you were little and someone (probably an uncle) would swipe at your nose and say, “Got your nose” and stick their thumb out between their fingers?

Then you would stare at them and silence would fill the room as you pulled out a pistol and cocking it would make sound that echoed off the walls in the silent room?

“Give it back, mother fucker!” you said, and jammed the gun up under their chin.

They would slowly “Give it back” and back away as you stared them down with the look of murder in your eyes

I miss the good old innocent days of being a kid and having a gun to protect myself from people “taking my nose.”

Memories.
Good times.

NIN ~ Me, I’m Not

Fuck yeah!!

A normal Tuesday afternoon, partly cloudy with a slight cooling breeze blowing; the weekly meeting of the Legos development team…

Guy in charge of hosting the meetings and keeping things on track,

Host: All right, we have done well with our product and licensing that we have made some money and besides investing back into our company we feel that we have some money to be able to offer to help out the community and really help people. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can use this money to help people out?

One person: My sister has multiple sclerosis and we walk every year to help raise awareness and try to raise funds to find a cure. I think we can support it to help out.

Another: That would be a good idea, but with breast cancer affecting so many people, including men, I think they have really made some advancements on helping people that it might be a good idea to put our money there.

Another: I read stories every day about hunger and starvation that we may be able to help provide food to children that are in a bad situation. We all need food.

Everyone starts talking at once about how their cause is more worthwhile to help others when someone who doesn’t speak up much at these meetings quietly mentions,

Quiet guy: I think a good way to help fight against MS, cancer, hunger, war, and all bad things would be if we used our money to build a life-sized replica 1:1 scale of a Star Wars X-Wing Fighter. Something that you can sit in and maybe we can put something on there that will make it light up and make sounds.

Everyone is quiet and looking at each other to see if anyone supports this crazy idea and then someone starts a slow clap that leads to everyone jumping up and cheering, dancing around, high-fiving each other, and some casual making out.

So the development team agreed on the plan and declared it to be true that Legos would help human suffering by building a replica of a life-size Star Wars X-Wing fighter.

17,336 hours later with 32 builders using 5,335,200 Legos they built a life-size Star Wars X-Wing fighter. 



And all was right with the world again. 

The Legos X-Wing fighter would be on display and allow people to sit in it for pictures and there was no more hunger or violence in the world.

And all the members of the Legos development were happy and were able to go to sleep at night while visions of sugar-plums danced in their head.

Article or Google Lego X-Wing Fighter.

Good stuff!

I’m trying to keep my kids focused on eating their cereal and drinking their milk so they won’t notice me eating Twizzlers behind them.

Being a parent is hard work.

thesweatyshrink:

FACT

My Tumblr Crushes:

1. fuckthefuckofffucker (8%)
2. nameyourgod (5%)
3. sarahsmilesawhile (4%)
4. twitsmirk (4%)
5. mattlik3 (4%)
6. lyte-at-mydnyte (3%)
7. tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/ (3%)
8. prettypurplepancake (3%) (Happy Birthday!)
9. bedside-manner (3%)

SST

Dirty, stinky, exhausted from work and I need to be back awake in a few hours, but there is always time for a drink.

At my work we have various bins for recycling a lot of materials we use and we have other bins for hazardous waste items.

All of these have been around for awhile. All are marked with what goes in each bin. We have had more than a few reminders in meetings and emails telling us what can go in which bin and why you can’t mix it up.

And people keep fucking it up with putting the wrong things in the wrong bins.

I’m not a tree loving “The Day After Tomorrow is a true story!” person, but it’s not that hard to get it right and they have made getting recycling as convenient as possible.
And people keep fucking it up.

Grown adults.

stay-at-homedadblunders:

I am praying for the families of the missing children in OKC. It is a very disheartening and sad day for my home state and all the families of Oklahoma. 

It has officially been changed to a recovery mission at the school now….

I am so sorry to hear this and for the families there.